Navigating Christmas

Navigating Christmas

ross: [: 00:00:00

And for many of us, it's a mix of all of the above and more. So today I want to explore Christmas through the lens of acceptance and commitment therapy or act, an approach grounded in psychological flexibility, compassion, and living by your values. However the approaching holiday feels for you, This episode could help you look after yourself and navigate the challenges of the festive season.

[: 00:01:00

Before we go on, let's take a quick scoot over to the news desk. I'm delighted to share that we're looking for impact partners, and some of you have already been in touch. We're on the lookout for organizations, teams, or practitioners who want to join us in extending the reach of ACT in the workplace.

through collaboration with Paul Flaman at City St. George's University of London and me. The aim is to move from research practice into real world impact.

This is a [: 00:02:00

It's especially for practitioners who want a supportive space to deepen their skills, share challenges, and explore act based facilitation and organizational impact. Again, all the details are in the show notes. Two places have already been snapped up for cohort two, leaving three spots, and there are still five places for cohort three.

Early bird offers currently end on the 20th of December, and there's a free info session this Friday, the 12th of December. I'll add some more of these free info sessions as soon as I can.

On the coaching front, [: 00:03:00

and finally, some exciting news. I think I've found the platform that will help me build some communities. It's an audio only platform, and I'm learning all about it at the moment. There'll be there'll be more news shortly, but at the moment, I'm thinking of communities for learners, practitioners, including impact partners and leaders.

So please do watch this space enough excitement, get a brew. And have a listen to my thoughts on navigating Ule tide.

1 Context

o pause and think about your [: 00:04:00

We'd go out for Christmas lunch in a local pub by a roaring fire and have a super time. So this year is a big shift for us. We'll be heading to Granada to spend time with the Spanish family, Which will be lovely and also poignant.

Take a moment to pause and think about your context. Is there a familiar routine on the horizon or is there a shift, which means you'll be navigating new territory? It's worth thinking about to help you plan a little and notice perhaps new stories and thoughts popping up, or perhaps the stories and thoughts are very familiar.

2. Stories about what Christmas SHOULD be

at we think Christmas should [: 00:05:00

I'd call these should stories. These stories can really dominate our thinking and rule our minds, and we can sometimes treat them as if they're the universal truth.

a hundred percent true and a [: 00:06:00

imagine that you're simply noticing these stories and thoughts. Uh, there's my mind telling me Christmas must be perfect, or there's the old story that I should be enjoying every moment of this. Or perhaps, oh, there you are again. Mind handing me the same rule book as you do every year.

Just noticing these stories and thoughts. Can help us get a bit of space between us and them and realize that they are what they are. They are thoughts, they are not directives, they are not rules or instructions.

3 Making Room for Emotions

me. You can love your family [: 00:07:00

You can feel grateful and stressed. You can enjoy a moment and then feel lonely the next moment.

the holidays tend to amplify whatever is already within us. Joy, grief, stress, nostalgia, longing, hope, sadness.

And in ACt What I invite people to do is practice acceptance, not as resignation, but as a willingness to allow our internal experience to be what it is. You might like to try this just a very quick exercise. Just take a slow breath

the body and see if you can [: 00:08:00

See if you can imagine the space around its softening rather than tightening against it. Ex acceptance is like a gift you can give to yourself. It's the opposite of pretending. It's allowing yourself to be human with all the human emotions that might arise in life, and particularly perhaps at Christmas.

4 Being Present in the small moments

ross: My next thought is being present in the small moments.

ect with. Now in the present [: 00:09:00

And there's an exercise I want to share with you that uses the five senses. Because the five senses can be a great way to reconnect with the here and now rather than getting caught up in that mental time travel. a's a grounding exercise, which I call 5, 4, [00:10:00] 3, 2, 1. You can use this when you feel a need to connect with now or when you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed during the holidays. it can help bring you back into the present moment by engaging your senses.

So here's how it works. You might want to try this right now with me as I describe it to you.

Start by taking just a deep breath and then notice five things you can see. Take your time. Notice objects around you or people around you perhaps focusing in on shapes, colors, objects, anything that's around and in front of you. See if you can notice five right now.

ce four things you can feel. [: 00:11:00

Have a go at noticing four things that you can feel.

Next we move on to the number three. Three things you can hear. Maybe sounds to the left or the right, above or below you, maybe persistent sounds in the distance or sounds that arise and then disappear.

o the sounds that are around [: 00:12:00

Then we move on to number two. Notice two things you can smell

might be in the room you are in. It might be from yourself or the clothing you're wearing. If there's nothing obvious. Notice, two neutral scents of the space around you.

And finally, notice one thing you can taste. It might be the aftertaste of a drink, a mint, or a chocolate, or simply the taste in your mouth.

to steady yourself anytime, [: 00:13:00

5 Clarify your holiday values

ross: My next idea is to clarify your holiday values. What do I mean?

In my own life and my work with people in the workplace, one of the most meaningful things we can explore is our values and what I'm inviting you to have a go at now is thinking about your values in relation to Christmas. The qualities of action that matter to you.

Christmas can drift into obligation, duty expectation, and autopilot values help us anchor in what truly matters.

kind of person do I want to [: 00:14:00

From Dr. James Warren and Dr. Matt Warren, if you'd like to have a go at this online card sort, then I'd highly recommend it maybe to get some inspiration or try on a value or two, like a new pair of shoes thinking might this be useful for me in this Christmas period.

there might be a value or two that could be useful that hasn't sprung her mind.

sort.com. That's values card [: 00:15:00

When you choose a value or values for the season, it becomes a kind of compass, not a rule book, but a direction of travel. You can then ask, what would a move towards that value look like right now, I'd recommend you think about small actions. Like sending a message, taking a breath before responding, choosing a more compassionate tone or allowing yourself to rest or go for a walk.

Values can turn Christmas from something you get through, like an ordeal into something more like something you live through with a little bit more meaning.

6 Commited Action - small steps that matter

t small steps could you take [: 00:16:00

For example, if connection is a value, reach out to someone you miss and just say, hi, high. If your health and self care is a value, Maybe take a walk when things get loud. If generosity is a value, Offer a kindness in a way that feels genuine, not obligatory. If boundaries are a value, politely declines, something that feels too much.

If something feels too much and you say no, it can be quite liberating We're not about forcing positivity.

7 Conclusion and mini exercise

und. And I thought we'd just [: 00:17:00

And A is for acknowledge. Notice, whatever thoughts, emotions, stories, thoughts, and body sensations are here right now. Say to yourself gently, this is what I'm feeling right now, and that's okay.

The C is for connect. Bring your attention as best you can to your body.

yourself land in the present [: 00:18:00

And RT stands for take action. Ask, what's one small step I can take guided by my values in this moment? Just one small step. The smaller, the better. One. Move towards the person you want to be this Christmas.

That's it. Peace supers my reflections on Navigating Christmas with Act In the Bag, you'll find the show notes for this episode at People Soup Captivate fm or wherever you get your podcasts. Now more than ever, you can help me reach more people with the special people soup ingredients, stuff that could be really useful for them.

to Andy Glenn for his spoon [: 00:19:00

But most of all, dear listener, thanks to you, look after yourselves. Peace Soopers, and bye for now.

And here's a little festive carol verse to sign off. Hark the strictly angel sing glory to the moist prawn ring. Corry on low and a crate of mild simmering tensions reconciled. Joyful all ye bakers rise. Prep the yule log. Mince those pies with the Hollywood host.

Proclaim ganache is rather lame. Hark the strictly dancers Spring glory to the moist prone ring.