Mr. Bean Rides Again: A Tale of Lycra, Self Sabotage and Psychological Flexibility
Hi there, and a very warm welcome to Season Six Episode 24 of People Soup, it's Ross McIntosh here.
This week we've got a different kind of episode, a short cup-a-soup with just me. I'm going to reflect on my specialism, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT which is designed to enhance something called psychological flexibility. Psychological flexibility is a really useful thing for us to develop in life for enhancing our wellbeing, meaningful action, and general life satisfaction. It helps us to show up as the person we'd really like to be more often. what I'm gonna do in this episode is explain what psychological flexibility is using a story from my life about cycling, and just to let you know, there is, what I would argue is an entirely appropriate use of the F word a bit later on in the episode.
For those of you who are new to People Soup - welcome - it's great to have you here - I aim to provide you with ingredients for a better work life from behavioural science and beyond. For those of you who are regular P Soupers - thanks for tuning in - we love it that you're part of our community.
There is a transcript for each episode. There is a caveat - this transcript is largely generated by Artificial Intelligence, I have corrected many errors but I won't have captured them all! You can also find the shownotes by clicking on notes then keep scrolling for all the useful links.
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Transcript
MAster recording
Ross: [:[00:01:00] For those of you who are new to People Soup, welcome. It's great to have you here. We aim to provide you with the ingredients for a better work life, from behavioral science and beyond. For those of you who are regular paupers, thanks for tuning in.
Again, we love it that you're part of our community.
first up, let's define psychological flexibility. one way to look at it is this, It's the willingness to experience uncomfortable or unhelpful inner experiences like thoughts, emotions, memories, sensations, and urges in the service of taking action towards things that really matter in life. In other words, it's about being open to discomfort while still moving in the direction of your values.
To illustrate this, I want to take you on a little journey, a two, sometimes three wheeled one. Let's talk about how I got into cycling in the first place.
Spoons
Ross: [:Mary Mead. I think I rocked that look. Sedate, but speedy. But alas, at that stage, no Tweed Then came the moment I had to graduate to two wheels. This milestone had been delayed, possibly because of early signs of procrastination expertise, and possibly because of fear. and eventually it just had to be faced. I was becoming that slightly weird kid. Still riding Miss Marble's tricycle we found a quiet country lane near a village called Stanford M. It had a slight incline. My dad took me to the top of the incline. Mom was cheering me on and down.
I went with full on [:I was hooked From that point on, I loved playing out on my bike with my friends playing out. What a lovely phrase that is. Then my dad. Also known as Big G actually built me a bike when he was a lad, he built one for himself from salvaged parts and saving his pocket money for mine.
He bought the local postman's old bike, stripped it down, painted it bright red, and fitted it with these chunky tires, more like a mountain bike than a racer. I was ahead of my time. It was a bit different from a chopper, which was the cool bike of that era, and I was super proud.
er seat. I adored that bike. [:Since then, I think I've been through every cycling trend known to womankind racing, bike, mountain bike, hybrid, even a folding bike. And each time I'd get enthusiastic, buy some gear, maybe a bottle, an early bike computer, or a flashy helmet.
st in the corner of the flat [:They took on an entirely new function, But then after learning about act, developing insights into psychological flexibility and my own psychological skills, I got curious what was stopping me from recapturing the joy of cycling? Why did each new cycling venture fizzle out quite rapidly?
I reflected using acts, behavioral science tools and discovered a bunch of unhelpful and very powerful thoughts lurking under the surface.
So let's have a look at those unhelpful thoughts. One was, I'm no good at sport. I was the geeky, pale, skinny kid with big hair trying to dodge PE at school. That's physical education by the way. Sorry, sir. I have to go and play my recorder. I was considered a virtuoso recorder player at school, and I actually won prizes.
id who was always last to be [:Come on, crystal tips, lift those legs. Ironically, I was actually quite good at the hurdles with my lanky pins. Another unhelpful thought was, what will people think of me now? This is a thought that shows up in every area of my life.
nation is not my superpower. [:You've tried before and it didn't last. You'll give up like you always do. And then the final unhelpful thought is you could start tomorrow. You've had a busy day begi. Writing these thoughts down began to give me some insight into why the new bike venture had fizzled out each time.
These thoughts were really influencing my behavior to such an extent that I simply wasn't cycling.
so instead of letting those thoughts drive my behavior, I asked myself, what matters to me about cycling?
Here's what I found. The values that really mattered to me were fun. I love the joy and vitality of cycling. Remember me playing out in the back lanes of the wind in my big hair. That was fun. That was Freedom. Fitness, not just physical fitness, but mental fitness. I always come back from a ride, a better man, ask my husband.
today? And courage, it takes [:The next day, day two, I rode down to Brighton Pier and came across a crowd of Spanish exchange students. I had to dismount and push the bike around the group, and from the center of the group, I heard this voice saying, Mira, Mira is Chico, Mr. Bean. Ooh, right through the heart. In that moment, every insecure thought I'd ever had rose up again.
many heads turned to look and laugh.
This Spanish kid was comparing me to Mr. Bean.
People were [:and at that moment I had a choice.
I could have let the thoughts win. Wheeled the bike home, returned it to its role as a book stand and co track, but something stopped me. My values knocked at the door and I thought, fuck you, Pablo. I'm going cycling. and I persisted, and that moment revitalized my relationship with cycling.
I became a regular cyclist. Once I'd kept going for a few months and clocked up some kilometers. I invested in a new bike. Pride and joy. and now I cycle mostly on a mountain bike exploring the Spanish countryside and the olive groves around Seville.
f I look ridiculous? What if [:For me, those values were fun, freedom, fitness, and courage. so I truly am a cyclist, not a fast one, not a smooth one. But a joyful one, and I'd like to thank that kid who I imagine was called Pablo, for helping me realize what matters to me and helping me explain psychological flexibility.
I hope this story helped illustrate the idea of psychological flexibility. I. If you've got thoughts, questions, or your own story, I'd love to hear from you. If you'd like to hear more episodes just from me, I'd love it if you let me know. Do you have any particular workplace topics you'd like me to reflect on?
u can get in touch at People [:You can help me reach more people with a special people soup. Ingredients. Thanks to Andy Glenn for his spoon magic and Alex Engelberg for his vocals. Most of all, dear listener, thanks to you.
Look after yourselves. Peace supers and bye for now.
My values knocked at the door and I thought, fuck you, Pablo. I'm going cycling. and I persisted, and that moment revitalized my relationship with cycling.
