Episode 34

full
Published on:

8th Jun 2026

Quick Spoon: When we avoid disappointing others

Success doesn't always feel like success.

In this Quick Spoon, Ross reflects on a coaching conversation with someone who appeared to have everything going for them: successful, respected and on track for a remarkable career.

Yet something wasn't right.

As they explored what mattered most, a powerful pattern emerged. Many of their decisions weren't moving them towards what they valued. Instead, they were helping them avoid disappointing other people.

It's a trap that many of us fall into, especially when we're caring, conscientious and ambitious.

Reflection Question

Think about a decision you're currently wrestling with.

Are you moving towards something important, or away from someone else's disappointment?

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

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Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE

Transcript

QS3 when we avoid disappointing others

[:

[00:00:18] I once worked with [00:00:20] someone who appeared to have everything going for them, successful, respected, on track for a remarkable career, and yet they were [00:00:30] miserable. As we explored what mattered most to them, a pattern emerged. Many of their decisions weren't moving them towards what they valued.

[:

[00:00:55] Ask yourself, "Am I moving towards something important, or am I [00:01:00] moving away from someone else's disappointment?" That's your Quick Spoon. Until next time, take care.

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About the Podcast

People Soup
Real conversations about work, leadership and being human
A podcast exploring work, leadership, and being human through real conversations — grounded in behavioural science and full of practical ideas you can apply straight away.

About your host

Profile picture for Ross McIntosh

Ross McIntosh

I'm a work psychologist. I want to help you navigate the daily challenges of work by sharing behavioural science in a way that's accessible, useful and fun.
I'm originally from Northumberland in the UK and I now live near Seville in Spain with my husband.