Quick Spoon: What else might be true?
We all tell stories to make sense of our experiences.
- Your boss says something you don't like.
- Someone challenges you in a meeting.
- A colleague doesn't do what you expected.
And almost immediately, we can have a story about what's going on:
"They're being difficult."
"They don't appreciate me."
"They've got it in for me."
In this Quick Spoon, Dr Ryan Kemp talks about how we can construct stories about other people when we've had a negative experience — and how it can sometimes take a little longer to consider our own part in what's happening.
Sometimes our story might be absolutely right.
But Ryan's observation made me think about the value of creating a little space before we settle on our explanation.
Not to blame ourselves.
To be curious.
So here's your Quick Spoon:
The next time you find yourself telling a very convincing story about someone else, pause and ask:
What else might be true here?
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Transcript
[00:00:14] Takes a little while for that sort of internal monologue thing to come round to, "Well, maybe, Ryan, you [00:00:20] didn't do that job well enough. You didn't actually deliver on that project, therefore, actually the responsibility is really with you, and your boss is actually just helping you out here." [00:00:30] takes a little while.
[:[00:00:43] Ross: in this clip, Ryan talks about the stories we tell ourselves to make sense of difficult experiences
[:[00:00:51] Your boss says something you don't like. Someone challenges you in a meeting
[:[00:00:59] And almost [00:01:00] immediately we have a story. They're being difficult. They don't appreciate me. they've got it in for me Now sometimes that story might be absolutely [00:01:10] right
[:[00:01:17] Because it can take us a little longer to get [00:01:20] to, Is there anything here that I really need to look at and reflect on? That's not about blaming ourselves. That's about being curious. So here's something to [00:01:30] try
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