Episode 20

full
Published on:

7th May 2026

Quick Spoon: Locked out of the controls

Why do we sometimes react in ways that don’t feel like us?

Why do we say things we later regret, shut down under pressure, or act against our values?

In this Quick Spoon from my conversation with Dr Eric Goodman, we explore a powerful idea:

Sometimes, in difficult moments…

“We’re locked out of the controls.”

And if that’s true…

Beating ourselves up probably isn’t the answer.

Awareness might be.

A practical reflection on self-compassion, threat responses, and how to choose a response that’s guided by your values—not just your emotions.

People Soup: Real conversations about work, leadership, and being human — grounded in behavioural science, with practical ideas you can actually use.

If you’re enjoying People Soup, hit follow so you don’t miss future episodes.

Visit Ross' Website.

Connect with Ross on LinkedIn

People Soup on Instagram which also features plenty of Ross' photos of the Andalusian life

He's now also on Bluesky

The People Soup Website on CAPTIVATE

Transcript

QS3 Locked Out of the Controls

[:

[00:00:03] behave in primitive sorts of ways. We're going to end

[:

[00:00:10] we wouldn't choose to do.

[:

[00:00:12] that we regret. Now it doesn't make

[:

[00:00:18] are

[:

[00:00:21] but if you want

[:

[00:00:27] in a way that is [00:00:30] helpful, not harmful, and in a ways that eases your suffering

[:

[00:00:36] choose how to respond in a way that's based on your [00:00:40] values, not,

[:

[00:00:45] Ross: Hi there, and welcome to People Soup Quick Spoon real conversations [00:00:50] about work, leadership, and being human, grounded in behavioral science with practical ideas you can actually use. Ross McIntosh and here's your quick [00:01:00] spoon.

[:

[00:01:25] That's your QUICK SPOON Until next time, take care.

Show artwork for People Soup

About the Podcast

People Soup
Real conversations about work, leadership and being human
A podcast exploring work, leadership, and being human through real conversations — grounded in behavioural science and full of practical ideas you can apply straight away.

About your host

Profile picture for Ross McIntosh

Ross McIntosh

I'm a work psychologist. I want to help you navigate the daily challenges of work by sharing behavioural science in a way that's accessible, useful and fun.
I'm originally from Northumberland in the UK and I now live near Seville in Spain with my husband.